while back in Zimbabwe, one of my team members asked me what i considered a very deep question. she simply asked me, WHAT DRIVES YOU. I wished i could have said, God or a passion for people, maybe to change the world etc. The truth is, there was in me something that i have run away from for years and that is being approved. i discovered that a big part of me wanted to be approved. i needed someone to say well done. i needed that affirmation, approval and acceptance. where am i going? this all emanated from low levels of self esteem.
what is self esteem/ it is having a healthy and positive perception of oneself. it reads easy but it is difficult to deal with. do you have this? do you possess this on the inside.
people cover up low self esteem by being funny, fashion, money, drinking, masks, relationships the list goes on and on. i rode super bikes really fast, shot dangerous guns, was a dare devil, collected pretty women like trophies, why? so that I could feel good. However, i hated going to bed because there i met me face to face. i did not like that guy, he was lost and empty. I was a hero to many but a mouse in my heart. are you in the same position?
there are things that kill our self esteem:
- traumatic experiences ( accidents, death of loved ones, robbery, hijacking, sickness)
- lack of knowledge of who you are
- sexual immorality ( using sex outside its rightful context). this is a killer
- destructive and oppressive spiritual beliefs
- hostile environments
- bad relationships
- heart crushing events
How do you build a positive self esteem
- Connect with God. in God you will find an unbiased opinion of who you are.
- surround yourself with the right people
- read appropriate material. watch what you read. for example if fear is an issue. why do you continue reading horror books. hello!
- get professional counseling or coaching if the events of your life are too big for you to handle.
- use affirmation and declarations to create a new confident you.
- recreate your world. rewrite the script of your life in the way that you want.
- watch your words. we are often enslaved by the words of our mouth. i cant, i will never etc. we make so many inner vows that cripple us daily.
- do things that you enjoy but are not harmful.
- take care of your relationships. deal with abusive behaviors quickly. do not expext approval from people
- have a clear understanding of who you are.
Low self esteem is worse that cancer or HIV. it kills many silently. it affects great people, doctors, actors, superstars, pastors and families. here is something to think about?
- do i see myself in a healthy way?
- do i have a positive perception of who i am?
- what thing in the past keeps bugging me?
- am i happy with who i have become?
take care
together we can transform lives and ignite someone's future
Coach Shep Wazara
next blog - oh my gosh i just can't fit in.
