building a positive self esteem

while back in Zimbabwe, one of my team members asked me what i considered a very deep question. she simply asked me, WHAT DRIVES YOU. I wished i could have said, God or a passion for people, maybe to change the world etc. The truth is, there was in me something that i have run away from for years and that is being approved. i discovered that a big part of me wanted to be approved. i needed someone to say well done. i needed that affirmation, approval and acceptance. where am i going? this all emanated from low levels of self esteem.

what is self esteem/ it is having a healthy and positive perception of oneself. it reads easy but it is difficult to deal with. do you have this? do you possess this on the inside.

people cover up low self esteem by being funny, fashion, money, drinking, masks, relationships the list goes on and on. i rode super bikes really fast, shot dangerous guns, was a dare devil, collected pretty women like trophies, why? so that I could feel good. However, i hated going to bed because there i met me face to face. i did not like that guy, he was lost and empty. I was a hero to many but a mouse in my heart. are you in the same position?

there are things that kill our self esteem:

1. traumatic experiences ( accidents, death of loved ones, robbery, hijacking, sickness)
2. lack of knowledge of who you are
3. sexual immorality ( using sex outside its rightful context). this is a killer
4. destructive and oppressive spiritual beliefs
5. hostile environments
6. bad relationships
7. heart crushing events

How do you build a positive self esteem

1. Connect with God. in God you will find an unbiased opinion of who you are.
2. surround yourself with the right people
3. read appropriate material. watch what you read. for example if fear is an issue. why do you continue reading horror books. hello!
4. get professional counseling or coaching if the events of your life are too big for you to handle.
5. use affirmation and declarations to create a new confident you.
6. recreate your world. rewrite the script of your life in the way that you want.
7. watch your words. we are often enslaved by the words of our mouth. i cant, i will never etc. we make so many inner vows that cripple us daily.
8. do things that you enjoy but are not harmful.
9. take care of your relationships. deal with abusive behaviors quickly. do not expext approval from people
10. have a clear understanding of who you are.

Low self esteem is worse that cancer or HIV. it kills many silently. it affects great people, doctors, actors, superstars, pastors and families. here is something to think about?

• do i see myself in a healthy way?
• do i have a positive perception of who i am?
• what thing in the past keeps bugging me?
• am i happy with who i have become?

take care

together we can transform lives and ignite someone's future

Coach Shep Wazara

next blog - oh my gosh i just can't fit in.

Legacy

This week started off with the sad news of Michael Jackson's death. I had mixed emotions about his death. I was angry, sad, mad at the media and then thanked the Lord for his life. I must say we enjoyed the whole moonwalk thing. The moon walk opened career opportunities for people. imagine that. His music rocked many parties and his showed transformed the world of video etc. As a life Coach, i always want to draw juice out of the fruit. what juice do i extract from the life of Michael. here is some stuff i got:

• discipline and hard work has excellent pay offs. ( Michael's fame and fortune)
• extremes are detrimental. ( Michael's weird tendencies)
• your family is important. ( it appears Michael's children never saw their dad in action. now this breaks my heart. the whole world enjoys you except your lighties)
• Money is important but not everything. Michael apparently just wanted an ordinary life. we are busy pursuing the extraordinary life. those that have it, want a simple one. When was the last time you enjoyed a walk in the park and you were not bothered by people. hmmm.
• take care of careless mistakes. avoid careless mistakes. Michael was acquitted from all child abuse cases but the damage was great. All i heard was he had parties with kids and did not want parents there. Careless mistake. Showered with kids, bad move, gave alcohol to a minor etc. Lets take giving alcohol to a minor. How many times have you had a beer or something and your child or little brother cried for a sip and you just casually gave it to him/her. if you were Michael you are toast man. eliminate careless and silly behavior.
• peoples expectations can destroy you. Michael had 50 shows lined up. He most probably wanted to surpass peoples expectations. blow their wildest imaginations. He pushed himself to unhealthy levels, broke a leg, was on heavy medication to take the pain away.All for what, to please the world. you might be in the same position, you work yourself hard, you never at home, you are always trying to hit that big one. STOP, put things into perspective. we want you, not your achievement. People want their Dads, mom, brothers, wives etc. Let your close ones enjoy YOU and above all we want you alive.

in conclusion i enjoyed Michael's music. Even this prop forward tried to moon walk. Now thats something.

encouragement for the week

if you can dream it, You can have it. walt Disney

together we can transform lives and ignite futures

Coach Shep